


Rose and Bud

by marshmalu (catflap), twinflamedfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Blood, Character Death, M/M, Suicide, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 14:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16620584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catflap/pseuds/marshmalu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinflamedfest/pseuds/twinflamedfest
Summary: a/n: pls listen to lana del rey’s songs while reading if u could :)





	Rose and Bud

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: pls listen to lana del rey’s songs while reading if u could :)

 

///

 

“what is it this time?”

“red velvet cake.”

his every stroke is careful but there is no pattern; just a series of sloppy red stripes and smudges against white. as always. and don’t even forget the wine at the top of the small table on his right, accompanied by a bowl of nuts (luhan can’t paint without those) that he never really enjoyed. he just puts it there just because. not everything needs a reason, right?

“you’re really into red these days, huh,” baekhyun points out while scrutinizing his friend’s other artworks or should he say _babies_ —as what luhan refers to them. there’s actually only a few to examine. luhan’s workplace is too small to cater a lot of paintings, anyway. it’s literally just a tiny room with a door and a window that’s always slightly open. he never closes it. he says he likes listening to the sound of the outside world—the vehicles, people yelling at each other, the rain.

the rain.

luhan likes its sound the most.

“well, christmas is coming so,” luhan replies after dipping his brush right into his palette and dabs it back to his canvas.

right. christmas. “shit, i forgot i had to buy gifts today!”

luhan smiles but his eyes are still on his cake, “you’re really getting old, baek.”

baekhyun immediately grabs his bag and gives his friend a hug, “shut up. don’t tire yourself too much, ‘kay? and! don’t go outside alone!”

“you’re being paranoid again. i’m going to be fine,” luhan laughs.

“you better be,” baekhyun deadpans. “i’ll come back later!”

luhan nods although he knows baekhyun won’t. he’ll forget to do so; just like how he always forgets his phone’s password or the orders he takes in the café where he works. luhan always tells him to bring a notebook with him so he could just write everything down and baekhyun always replies with an, “okay, i’ll buy later.” but of course, he still forgets.

“all right. tell chanyeol i say hi.”

“how did you know i’ll go to their headquarters?”

“it’s because you always do, silly.”

baekhyun frowns, a sign that he’s given up. luhan chuckles and finally bids his friend goodbye.

he continues what he’s been doing for the past three hours. and despite baekhyun’s warning, after finishing his glass of wine, the stubborn luhan still goes outside alone.

 

//

 

luhan’s been having weird cravings lately. last time, he was resisting himself to buy a pack of gummy worms; yesterday, he was eyeing the burrito of the man in front of him until he reaches his stop; and now, he still is craving but for what this time? that he doesn’t know.

he also doesn’t know why he didn’t bring his coat with him when he’s aware that september is you-can-now-wear-your-sweater month.

he continues walking, anyway, even though he’s freezing to death and he doesn’t really know where he’s heading to. the faint noise of cars and little wind whispers calm him somehow.

he suddenly hears the stores closing so he walks faster that he has to adjust his glasses at some points because it keeps on sliding down.

and then he finally smells it—the familiar scent he didn’t know he needed. he follows where it’s coming from as if following footsteps, a smile slowly lighting up his face as he gets closer, as the smell gets stronger. he turns to a corner, and a corner, and a corner, and then he stops.

there is blood.

everywhere.

“what the fuck,” luhan manages to blurt out, his smile vanishing from his face.

the first thing he noticed is the man lying on the floor, lifeless. the second is the man standing in front of the corpse; he’s tall, his hair is as dark as the sky, and there’s a knife in his blood-covered right hand.

luhan takes a deep breath and tries to digest the situation. in front of him is a murder scene, a fucking murder scene, and he should totally run now but he can’t seem to move; not when the murderer is literally looking at him straight in the eye.

“oh, what do we have here? did the heavens send you?” the man suddenly says and then laughs at his dry joke.

luhan, on the other hand, is glued on the spot, his breathing getting faster and faster as the man goes closer and closer. the sound of his leather shoes echoes around the narrow alley.

the little light from the lamp post washes all the shadows away from his face when he stops and luhan finally gets to see how he looks like.

he’s… pretty attractive for a murderer.

faces aren’t really luhan’s forte but if he doesn’t die tonight, mark his words, he would totally paint him.

the man suddenly gives him a small smile, as if he didn’t just kill someone and luhan just stares back, examining the curves of his face, already sketching his eyes on the canvas inside his mind.

“can we keep this a secret?” the man says, bringing luhan back to reality. he raises his blood-coated pinky finger, “our dirty little secret.”

“o-okay,” he manages to say. he stares at his own pinky finger that is now also covered with red and wonders why it looks perfect against his white, pearly skin.

“what’s your name?”

 

/

 

“i’m luhan,” he says, preventing himself from tearing up in front of a kid that he doesn’t even know and is probably younger than him.

the boy nods, his black locks bobbing along with his head, “i’m sehun! don’t worry, luhan, i’ll help you find your parents, i promise!” the grocery store is pretty big for little kids like them and sehun doesn’t really know where to start but he still assures luhan, suddenly feeling the urge to protect the kid even though he’s actually the younger one between them. sehun doesn’t look his age, anyway.

“no, i only want mommy,” luhan says, facing down. sehun had to slightly lean forward to hear what the boy has mumbled.

“mommy? why? do you hate your daddy, too?” sehun asks. he notices how luhan flinches at the mention of his dad.

“yep… he’s a monster…” luhan murmurs.

sehun hates it—the hint of fear on luhan’s face. it doesn’t suit him. kids as pretty as him should only be smiling. only smiling.

sehun places his hand on luhan’s shoulder, making the boy look up, “okay. i’ll help you find your mommy.” sehun gives him a smile and reaches for his hand again, “let’s go?”

much to sehun’s surprise, luhan shakes his head.

“why, is there still a problem?”

sehun finally gets it when luhan suddenly raises his little hand in between them, “oh. right.” he chuckles and wraps his pinky finger around luhan’s. “i promise,” he repeats.

luhan smiles at that. sehun smiles at luhan’s smile. _there you go._

sehun offers his hand again, “let’s go?”

luhan’s mommy always reminds him not to talk to strangers but they already know each other’s names, right? sehun’s not a stranger anymore, right?

with a small smile, luhan nods and takes sehun’s hand.

 

//

 

luhan doesn’t know why he’s following this man. he must have gone crazy. after refusing to tell his name, the man suddenly laughed (a sight that actually amused luhan for an unknown reason—or maybe it was the sound of his laugh?) and grabbed his arm. now, they’re walking somewhere that luhan doesn’t even have an idea where. he doesn’t even have an idea what he’s doing and why he’s not feeling nervous all of a sudden.

he must really have gone crazy.

well, at least he’s not alone. this man he’s walking with is also crazy as fuck. before leaving the alley with luhan a while ago, the man crouched beside the corpse and smiled at it softly. luhan watched in amusement as the man eyed the dead body from head to toe, as if admiring a painting in a museum. after that, he put the knife he used for killing it on its hand and said, “here’s your souvenir, buddy. take care of that, okay?”

he’s fucking crazy.

and he’s also actually quiet. they’ve already been walking for almost half an hour now and he never opened his mouth. not even once. even his face didn’t change a bit—it’s still as serious as how serious it was when they started walking. luhan has no choice but to listen to the sound of their footsteps instead. it’s suddenly the most entertaining thing in the world.

after a series of endless turning and walking, the man finally stops in front of a warehouse? or a store? luhan’s not sure. he kicks the door open and pushes luhan inside.

“we’re here.”

 

///

 

“wow, is this real? you’re actually here?” luhan says with an amused tone. it’s just fun to tease baekhyun sometimes because his reactions are always hilarious. he is really amused, though. it’s very unlikely of baekhyun to actually remember things he promises. luhan doesn’t really mind it, to be honest. he’s been friends with baekhyun for years and he’s already used to it. baekhyun forgetting stuff isn’t a big deal to them anymore.

“of course, i am!” baekhyun replies, placing his shopping bags beside luhan’s table. luhan examines the bags then turns to his friend, “what did you get me?”

“you know i won’t tell you, right?”

luhan sighs in defeat and smirks, “what did you get chanyeol?”

baekhyun blushes and luhan suddenly regrets what he did, “actually, i don’t want to know.”

baekhyun laughs and sticks his tongue out. he sits beside luhan, “by the way, have you watched the news?”

luhan shakes his head.

“famous serial killer just killed another victim,” baekhyun whispers, attempting to scare his friend. he’s been trying to get luhan as excited as him about this mysterious killer but luhan always seems disinterested. that doesn’t stop him from oversharing latest information about the issue, though. chanyeol would literally whoop his ass if he finds out baekhyun leaks everything he tells him but he just really has to vent to someone, you know?

he quickly unlocks his phone and shows luhan the articles online to scare him even more but luhan, much to baekhyun’s dismay, remains calm. he gets back to painting random streaks of red on his canvas, “he’s a tough one, huh.”

baekhyun dramatically gasps, “did you just assume the killer’s gender?”

“well, there’s no way those kind of murders were performed by a woman.”

“women can be kind of brutal too, you know. have you seen my mom? have you seen her kick my ass?”

luhan stops painting for a millisecond and that didn’t go unnoticed by baekhyun.

“oh my god, lu, i’m sorry!” he quickly adds. “i forgot again…”

luhan shakes his head. “no, it’s okay,” he tells his friend, “it really is,” he adds, trying to convince baekhyun and maybe himself.

“no, i’m really sorry. i promise i won’t do something that will make you think of your mom again.”

luhan never really mentions it but baekhyun knows luhan too well. no matter how much luhan convinces him that he has moved on, he knows that deep inside he’s still in pain, that he still remembers everything as if his mom, dying in front of him was just yesterday. baekhyun knows. that’s why he does his best to make luhan smile every time he has the chance and if he could just share a piece of his habit of forgetting things to him, he would give him one every day.

luhan gives his friend a timid smile, “thanks, baek.”

he nods and brings up the serial killer again to clear the heavy atmosphere away.

luhan shrugs, “i don’t know, i just really think it’s a man.”

baekhyun gives his friend a funny stare.

 

//

 

“stop staring at me.”

it has been hours and nothing much has happened except for the fact that luhan is tied to a chair now, a blindfold keeping him from observing the place more. all he got to see before his eyes got covered was the shelf containing different kinds of knives, guns, and other metal stuff that he couldn’t figure out. he’d gladly check them one by one if he doesn’t die tonight. he also remembers a lot of carton boxes scattered all over the place.

“i’m not.”

but luhan knows he is. he can’t be wrong. you’ll feel it if someone’s staring at you, right? and if not at him, where would he even stare? at the floor?

“sure.”

when he didn’t get a response, luhan decided he wouldn’t speak anymore. why did he even bother to initiate a conversation with the one who’s going to end his life? he remains quiet, waiting for what’s bound to happen. the ropes around his arms and legs are starting to hurt but he doesn’t mind.

it’s pretty odd, if you’d ask him. he should be screaming for help now, he knows that, but he just doesn’t really feel like it? in fact, he’s a little bit… excited? he knows he’s going to die anytime and all he can think about is when and how.

luhan has never been this thrilled.

“you look familiar,” the man suddenly says. that surprised luhan because after an hour, he finally spoke again.

“just kill me already.”

luhan covers his mouth immediately. okay, that wasn’t part of the plan. he didn’t just say that.

he hears a faint laugh, “okay.”

luhan listens to his footsteps and then he hears a soft thud coming from his back, right where the shelf stands. luhan suspects he’s picking which tool to use and he suddenly feels pumped up. luhan prefers a knife, though. damn, he should’ve suggested that a while ago.

luhan feels his breath on his left ear, “why are you so eager to die?” his voice is so low; it tickles.

“i… really don’t know.”

he hears a chuckle again and some footsteps, the puffs of air from his ear now in front of his face. luhan thinks this is finally it. he’s already in front of him. he is finally going to die.

feeling more psyched than ever, luhan encourages the man some more, “come on, do it.”

luhan waited for the hit, the shot, or the stab but received nothing from those.

what he got, however, is a pair of soft lips against his.

_is this how death feels like?_

_it feels good, then._

luhan closes his eyes beneath his blindfold and adjusts his face so he’ll feel it more. it doesn’t taste sweet—like how the novels he has read said. this is different. he tastes like cigarettes and his little touches are as cold as the breezes that seep through luhan’s window every night. what the novels got right, though, is the fact that the heart will really go berserk, jumping again and again in an unstable tempo, as if it wants to break free from its rib cage.

_does this man really kiss strangers before he kills them?_

luhan tilts his face upward some more. he has always wanted to fly and right now, at this very moment, he thinks he finally is. he feels as if he’s floating—higher and higher and higher until he finally gets to meet the clouds he has always wanted to be friends with. it’s a dream come true.

he feels hands on his jaws, cupping his face in the gentlest way possible, as if this man has never touched a face before. the kiss deepens and luhan’s mind spirals into oblivion once again.

luhan inhales sharply after the pair of lips leaves his. he thinks parting to breathe feels like waking up from a dream; a dream about red roses blossoming and baby angels. oh, and maybe huge white swans in sparkling ponds, too.

he hears his deep breaths, too, and luhan wonders if he also felt the same way he did and if he would do it again but he is too stupefied to even open his mouth.

so he just sits there and waits.

his blindfold gets dragged down to his neck all of a sudden, his eyes squinting as the light hits his face unexpectedly. he blinks profusely until his vision becomes clear. he first looks for the man and he is staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. his eyes, then, travels to his hand.

he is holding a knife.

it’s beautiful, luhan thinks. it would be such an honor to be killed with a knife as elegant as that.

the man steps closer, adjusting his hold on the knife. luhan gives the man a look for the last time before closing his eyes shut. _this is it._

but just like before, he doesn’t feel a stab. he opens his eyes and the man is not in front of him. he’s at his back, using his knife to cut the rope around his arms.

luhan doesn’t know where this is going. this man is too unpredictable that he is already getting tired of trying to read him so he just waits for the rope to be removed. once he finishes, the man goes back in front of him and without a warning, he kisses luhan full on the lips again.

the man thought luhan would push him away because his arms are finally free but he uses them to grab the hem of his leather jacket instead, pulling him closer.

luhan hates the fact that they have to part but they have to and when they do, the man has a tiny smile on his face.

“you really have a cute nose, luhan.”

luhan’s stomach flips.

 

/

 

“what did you say?”

“you have a cute nose,” sehun says before licking his ice cream again.

ever since sehun helped luhan find his mom, both had promised they would always meet every saturday at the dairy section while their moms are busy strolling around. luhan’s mom was kind of hesitant at first, afraid that she might lose her son again; but sehun seems like a smart kid so in the end she still let them.

eating ice creams that are not yet paid is their thing now. and for the first time, luhan is genuinely happy because he finally has someone to talk to aside from himself and his mom’s plants.

sehun is his first ever friend; his friend who likes chocolate ice cream so much. luhan told him one saturday that cookies and cream was much, much better but sehun, of course, wholeheartedly disagreed. he enumerated ten reasons why chocolate is better than cookies and cream (half of it wasn’t even true) and luhan had no choice but to give up.

luhan giggles, “thanks! i’ve always thought it’s too pointy.”

“it is,” sehun blinks at him. “that’s why it’s cute.”

luhan rolls his eyes and suddenly examines sehun’s face, making the younger turn away.

“me, i like your eyes,” luhan says. when sehun faces him again, he quickly scrutinizes his eyes again, “they’re so black! your hair, too! so black!”

sehun turns pink, not knowing what to even reply. he’s not used to people complimenting him.

“mom told me the eyes are the windows to the soul. does that mean you have a black soul?” luhan chuckles, unaware of the melted ice cream getting closer to his fingers.

sehun frowns and checks luhan eyes, too, “hey, your eyes are also black!”

“wait, really?”

“uh-huh.”

luhan giggles, “our souls are both black, then.”

 

///

 

“are you sure? like really sure?”

luhan sighs, “i told you, it really is all right.” he looks at chanyeol for a second before looking back at baekhyun, “just do not fuck on my couch.”

chanyeol coughs and baekhyun slaps his friend, “oh my god, please shut up.” he hugs luhan after, “thanks again, lu. i swear i’ll be a good housemate. i’ll even do your laundry if you want!”

luhan smiles, “you don’t really have to. i’m letting you stay here because i want to, okay.”

baekhyun hugs him tighter while chanyeol is busy assorting his boxes and unpacking his things, “i’ll find a new apartment as soon as possible.”

luhan nods, “but you can really stay here forever if you want to.”

baekhyun shakes his head and releases his friend from his hug, “we’re not going to have this talk again.”

“i’m done!” chanyeol yells from the front door. “coming!” baekhyun replies. he turns to luhan, “i’m just going to kiss the big baby goodbye.” luhan nods and goes back to watching the television.

“hey,” baekhyun greets. his boyfriend gives him a sweet smile. “thank you, yeol. i’ll see you later?” he kisses his nose and then his lips.

“see you later,” chanyeol squeezes his hands. “by the way, are you really sure you’re okay with this? this place smells like shit.”

baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, “what do you mean? this place is nice.”

“i don’t know. it really just has a weird smell. like… iron or something.”

baekhyun smirks, “you just want me to stay at yours, don’t you?”

chanyeol grins at that, “maybe.”

“get out,” baekhyun chuckles.

after bidding chanyeol goodbye, baekhyun sits on the couch beside luhan. “i have a new information about the famous serial killer.”

“hmm?” luhan responds, trying to sound curious so baekhyun doesn’t get upset.

“it’s indeed a man,” baekhyun whispers.

 

//

 

“it’s sehun,” he says. “don’t you remember me?”

“of course, i remember you,” luhan, after being in a state of shock, finally replies.

 _sehun._ sehun—his first ever friend, the first person to actually make him laugh like a madman, his first _love._

and also now his first kiss. and second. and hopefully even the third.

oh god. right. they just kissed.

“how are you?” sehun casually asks. is luhan the only one in panic mode here?

“i’m fine,” luhan chooses to reply that because that’s what most people say when asked how they are. “i paint stuff now. you?” he pauses, “how are you?”

“is it not obvious?”

“right.”

luhan hates this. this is so not him. he just started acting differently after knowing that this man in front of him is a part of his past and it’s making him want to punch himself. even his mouth is betraying him, saying stuff he only regrets after. and the atmosphere is so awkward. it’s so painful to watch. he hates it so, so much. _stop_. stop acting like that, luhan.

there’s only one way out. “so, when are you going to kill me?”

sehun laughs, “i don’t kill people.”

“is the man from the narrow alley earlier not a person to you?”

“oh, that,” sehun replies. “he was already dead when i saw him. i just stabbed him for fun.”

luhan doesn’t know whether to believe sehun or not. who stabs people for fun?

“i missed you, lu.”

luhan looks up at the sudden confession. sehun’s expression suddenly changes when their eyes meet.

sehun has been waiting for this his whole life. he knew seoul was pretty big but he still tried and hoped they’d see each other again and now he’s finally here. right in front of him. he has found luhan; just like how he found his mom in the big grocery store where they first met.

truth be told, when he first saw him in the alley earlier, he already knew it was him. but he was not in the right mind that time and it was too unexpected. he didn’t know what to do, how to act and he was also afraid he might hurt him unintentionally. so he just pulled him with him, scared that he’d get taken away from him again.

sehun will make sure that won’t happen again.

“i really do,” he adds.

luhan doesn’t know how to respond. not when sehun’s looking at him like this; like he’s his world. he also missed him, of course. there’s not a day that passes by that sehun doesn’t cross luhan’s mind. and he is so, so happy he’s here but whenever he looks at sehun he remembers all the things he is trying so hard to forget. he reminds him of his mother, of how simple his life was back then, of how happy he was. he wants to forget that he was capable of being happy before because it frustrates him even more whenever he realizes that he won’t feel happiness ever again.

_but._

he looks at sehun again, face heating up as he suddenly remembers the kiss they shared a while ago. the bubbly feeling he felt when they kissed… isn’t that happiness? he was happy. after years, he was happy again. and sehun was the one who made him feel it again. he’s always the reason why luhan’s happy.

luhan gulps. he hopes his decision is right.

“sehun.”

“yeah?”

“i missed you, too.”

 

/

 

“did you just say you missed me?” sehun asks, surprised that luhan would say that out of nowhere.

luhan, disappointed that sehun still heard it even though he only whispered it, frowned, “yep…”

in the end, they weren’t able to keep their promise. sehun was extremely worried when luhan didn’t show up one saturday. he didn’t know how to contact luhan nor their address and that frustrated him even more. he went home sulking that day.

however, the next saturday, luhan didn’t show up again and that’s where sehun started to get super bothered. he couldn’t stop thinking about his friend—if he was okay, if he found a new pal, or if he still got to smile everyday even though he wasn’t there for him. it went like that for two weeks until one day, someone suddenly sat beside him at their usual spot, two ice creams in his small hands.

it was luhan. he still looked adorable but sehun thought something was not right. luhan gave him the ice cream and smiled at him sadly, “i’m sorry,” he started. “something bad just really happened.”

sehun’s heart hurt at that. he knew there was something wrong the moment he noticed the sparkles inside luhan’s eyes that he always adored were gone. he felt so bad. his friend was going through something and he wasn’t even there to comfort him and make him smile like he always does. what a bad friend he was. “no, it’s okay, luhan,” he replied and tried his best to smile, “what’s important is you’re finally back.”

luhan smiled back before turning away and saying the words that made sehun’s insides flip.

“i missed you too, you know,” sehun replies after a brief pause. “i always came here! hoping i could eat ice cream with you again,” he pouts. luhan’s face lights up at that. that’s the first time he saw sehun pout and for a moment, he forgets how lonely he is. only sehun can do that.

he ruffles sehun’s hair, “don’t worry, i’ll never not show up again!”

sehun gives him a threatening look. “i promise,” luhan adds and that’s where sehun’s gaze suddenly switches into a look that is full of concern, “what did even happen? you can tell me; i’m a good secret-keeper.”

sehun notices how luhan’s expression goes back to how it looked like before. it must be really bad. sehun’s about to say that he doesn’t really have to tell him if he doesn’t want to but luhan cuts him off with a heartbreaking news, “mommy is dead.”

he doesn’t think twice and envelopes luhan immediately in a hug, their ice creams now on the floor. his mom always hugs him when he’s sad and he thinks that’s what luhan needs the most right now. he suddenly feels luhan shake and just seconds after, his shoulder is now soaking with his friend’s tears.

sehun strokes luhan’s back as he cries his heart out silently. he’s too young for this. sehun can’t help but admire how strong luhan is for being able to deal with that kind of pain and even going here alone to spend time with him. sehun thinks luhan deserves the world and he doesn’t deserve him.

after luhan finishes crying, sehun comforts him some more and proceeds to crack a lot of jokes to make him smile. when sehun’s mom comes, he almost refuses to go but he has to (unless he wants to get beaten up again) so with a final hug, he bids his goodbye to luhan, not forgetting to say, “see you next week!”

 

///

 

“yeah, see you later,” baekhyun winks, earning a soft chuckle from his boyfriend.

once chanyeol finally goes back to their station, baekhyun proceeds to prepare the food he bought for them. chanyeol always tries to visit and bring anything when he has time and baekhyun appreciates the gesture a lot considering the fact that a cop’s job isn’t that easy.

luhan is still asleep on the couch. baekhyun picks up the wine glass on the carpet and suddenly remembers all the things chanyeol tells him about his friend. after his boyfriend told him that their place smelled weird, baekhyun started to become a little paranoid about everything. he began to notice the little things. his suspicion for something that he doesn’t really know what got deeper when he caught luhan sneaking out one night. it was almost 2am when he got woken up by the sound of their door closing. of course he thought he was dreaming, that’s always the initial thought; but when he called for luhan and nobody answered, that’s where he got suspicious.

however, baekhyun is a great guy and he doesn’t jump into conclusions carelessly so he thought perhaps luhan was just going to buy something or he just needed some air and just got back to sleep.

but the problem is, it happened again the next night.

baekhyun is aching to know what luhan does every night but he also doesn’t want to pry. but he really is getting more and more curious each day so _ugh, fuck it._

he puts back the wine glass on the table and sighs.

_i am so going to follow you tonight._

 

//

 

“why would you even do that?” luhan asks, “you do things to them and after that you just let them go like nothing happened?”

the atmosphere between them is now lighter than earlier. luhan has no ropes around his body anymore, he has finally eaten, he got to change his clothes, sehun is beside him, life is good.

sehun innocently nods and luhan bursts out laughing, “you’re really insane.” he adjusts his seat, a sign that he likes their topic, “why don’t you kill your victims, though? they could report you, you know.”

sehun shrugs, “i threaten them.”

“still.”

“i just don’t want to, okay!” sehun suddenly yells, surprising luhan. it’s been a long time since the last time he got yelled at. his dad never knew how to speak normally when it came to luhan. he just always shouted, shouted, and shouted that’s why luhan hated him so much. he would shout whenever he threw things towards him and his mom, he would shout whenever he scolded luhan for going outside too much, and even before he killed luhan’s mom in front of him, he still did shout.

sehun notices the look on luhan’s face and quickly says sorry, “i just,” he licks his lips unintentionally, “i just can’t control myself sometimes.”

luhan reaches for his hand and shakes his head, “it’s fine, i just got surprised.”

sehun decides to play with luhan’s fingers, “so…”

“hmm?”

“are you going to stay or…”

luhan faces sehun, “you know i can’t stay here.”

sehun would be lying if he’d say that didn’t hurt like shit but luhan’s right. both of them have their own lives now and asking luhan to stay with him means bringing him closer to danger and he doesn’t like that idea.

they just can’t be together.

he nods, “i see.”

“but we can meet every night,” luhan adds with a smile on his face.

he nods again but with a smile this time, “i see.”

or maybe they can.

 

/

 

“you can’t do this,” sehun pleads, his voice low and shaky, “please. you can live with us if you want. i’ll ask mom. i’m sure—”

“sehun, i have to,” luhan says. he bites his lip, trying to prevent himself from crying. he has been crying all day. it gets exhausting sometimes. “and i don’t want to be a burden, you know.”

sehun isn’t the one to give up easily, though, “but you hate your dad. and he hurts you!”

“i’ll be fine,” he grabs sehun’s hand, convincing the younger by squeezing it. “trust me.”

which didn’t work because sehun is still sulking. “seoul is kind of far, too,” he mumbles. “i can’t go there every saturday…”

and that’s where luhan’s tears start to fall. he never thought this would be this hard. sehun has been a very good friend to him; he has always been what he’s looking forward to every week and luhan can’t imagine how his life would be without those ice creams and silly conversations. he can’t imagine a life without sehun and his jokes and his dark eyes and small smiles.

“i’m going to miss you,” is all luhan can say. he opts to not promise anything.

sehun wipes his tears away before hugging his friend. “i miss you already,” he mutters which made luhan laugh a little. he’s really going to miss this.

when they part, sehun promises luhan they will meet again and although he isn’t really sure if they really will, luhan still nods and says, “we will. someday.”

after a final hug, sehun, while chanting inside his head that he’s a big boy now and he won’t cry anymore, watches as his friend leave him alone with his ice cream that suddenly doesn’t taste sweet anymore.

 

///

 

baekhyun immediately sits up when he sees luhan leave. he really has to follow him or else he’ll die in curiosity. he just wants to sleep peacefully again.

and he also just actually want to act like a detective or something.

luhan’s walk is just right—not too fast and not too slow for baekhyun to catch up. baekhyun tries so hard to remember every corner and turn they took but it’s too much for him so he gives up halfway. he’ll just deal with that later.

finally, luhan turns into a very narrow alley and baekhyun is suddenly afraid to follow him. _fuck, movies. being a detective is scary._

but he trusts luhan and he knows he’s just overreacting so with careful steps, he walks closer and tries to peek.

luhan is hugging a man.

he can’t really see it clearly because it was too dark for pete’s sake but he is sure luhan has his arms circled around someone.

baekhyun gasps when the man kisses luhan on the forehead before breaking their hug and pulling luhan along with him.

“oh my god, oh my god.”

excitement fills baekhyun’s mind as he watches the two. he can’t believe it. all this time he’s been thinking weird things about luhan but he is just actually hiding a man. baekhyun mentally smacks his head.

before luhan and the man get far, baekhyun immediately called luhan’s name, making him freeze on the spot. sehun immediately hides matilda (his favorite knife) inside his pocket.

luhan gives sehun a look that says he got this before facing baekhyun, “baekhyun? what are you doing here?”

baekhyun chuckles and scoots closer, “i can’t believe you!” he looks at sehun for a second before whispering to luhan, “is he your boyfriend?”

luhan smiles at that, tightening his grip on sehun’s hand. he nods, “yeah, this is sehun, my boyfriend.”

baekhyun bows and offers his hand, “i’m baekhyun, luhan’s friend and housemate for the meantime.”

sehun shakes his hand, “i know. nice to finally meet you.”

still ecstatic about finding out luhan has a love life, baekhyun asks the two of them if they can hangout—you know, have midnight snacks or something—because he has so many questions to ask.

luhan hesitates at first because they already have plans for the night but when sehun agrees and squeezes luhan’s hand, he thinks perhaps this isn’t a bad idea after all. he can’t hide this forever, anyway.

 

//

 

“what are we doing tonight?” luhan asks, his legs swinging back and forth as he sits comfortably on the table.

it continued—their secret meetings. sehun let luhan try some of his stuff the next night after their first meeting. luhan gave names to some of his favorites such as matilda (the golden knife), butch (the colt .38), and winky (the bone saw). sehun found it endearing.

they did different things every night; sometimes they would only watch a movie and cuddle, one night luhan did the kidnapping and torturing, sometimes they would have sex, but most of the time they would only lie beside each other and talk about everything. may it be the space, luhan’s paintings, climate change, or the past, they would talk about it.

sehun picks up a very small knife from his collection and raises it up, “i want to use this tonight.”

“that’s a really cute knife, sehun-ah.”

sehun beams, “it is.”

“use it on me,” luhan suggests, turning sehun’s smile into a confused expression. “are you serious?”

luhan nods, “use it on me.”

“luhan, you know i won’t ever hurt you.”

sehun sighs when luhan pouts, this is unfair, he thinks. “please? just a slit.”

of course, sehun gives up and does what luhan wants. he’s that in love (read: whipped). sehun pats his lap and luhan quickly claims the throne. he kisses him on the lips before offering his arm for sehun to cut.

“ready?”

“yes.”

the first press feels cold and satisfyingly painful. luhan watches in awe as his blood oozes from the slit as sehun swipes the knife some more. it’s a breathtaking view—like his skin is crying with blood.

he wishes sehun won’t stop but it doesn’t come true. sehun places the knife beside him and tries to wipe the blood away but luhan stops him.

“i’m going to tell you a secret,” luhan says, his hand still holding sehun’s arm.

“what is it?”

luhan leans in and whispers on sehun’s ear, “i like blood.” he faces sehun, “is that weird?”

sehun quickly answers, “no, baby. not at all.”

luhan feels like crying all of a sudden. he can’t believe the heavens gave him someone who’d understand him and care for him. he can’t believe someone would even love someone as broken as him.

he kisses sehun’s temple, “i love you.”

“i love you too, baby.”

he can’t believe he has sehun.

 

/

 

luhan can’t believe this. it has been just a week since his dad and him moved to seoul and he already feels like evaporating into thin air.

he fucking wants to leave.

he should’ve listened to sehun. he should’ve stayed with him. he thought once they migrated to a new place, it might be a chance for them to start anew but was he wrong. his dad didn’t change a bit at all. he still hit him whenever he had the opportunity to and still drank every night. it just gets worse every single day and suddenly, all luhan wants in his life right now is to escape. he gave his dad a chance and he just blew it. luhan is tired. his dad’s a lost case.

one night, when his dad went out to buy liquor, luhan grabs his favorite backpack and puts some clothes inside it. he gets some money from his dad’s drawer and runs away as fast as he can, leaving their house, his dad, and his past.

everything takes a turn when luhan meets a man who sells colorful pots on the street. he knows someday it’ll be not easy for him if he’ll just stroll around and not do something so he tells himself he’s got to find a job or something. of course, it’s hard—he’s just a fucking 13-year-old teenager for pete’s sake—but he still has to unless he wants to die in hunger.

so when the colorful pots catch his attention, luhan doesn’t think twice and immediately asks the man if he needs a little help to sell them. the man is weirded out at first, thinking maybe this is a modus or something but luhan assures him he’s not.

“i can paint,” luhan says. “i’ll make all of these look much better, sir.”

however, the man is still hesitant so luhan quickly opens his bag and pulls out some of the paintings he did. the man looked through his works, eyes widening as he wonders how a kid can paint such masterpieces.

“what do you think?” luhan asks again with pleading eyes.

the man clears his throat, “show me what you got, kid.”

luhan almost jumps out of happiness, “thank you!”

surprisingly, the number of pots they sold when luhan started to design them increased and he has never felt that fulfilled. for once, he is able to do something he actually enjoys and help people at the same time.

when the sun sets, the man decides to call it a day and gives luhan his share. upon sensing luhan’s dilemma, the man asks him if he is all right so luhan decides to just say it.

“well, uh, can i,” he gulps, “sleep in your house? just for tonight. i don’t have somewhere to stay yet.”

the man gives him a sad look, “where are your parents?”

“they’re dead.”

with that, the man nods and motions him to follow him. luhan immediately does.

maybe today’s his lucky day.

the man, whose name is actually seojoon, keeps on encouraging luhan to paint more and sell them as they walk and luhan says he’ll give it a try. seojoon, then, asks him about how he got there and since he seems like a good guy, luhan decides to tell him everything. however, he doesn’t get to finish his story because apparently, they already reach their destination.

the house is not that big but it seems nice. seojoon knocks and the door opens, revealing a boy who is probably luhan’s age. the boy’s gaze turns to him and luhan gives him a polite smile.

“dad, who is he?”

“i got you a friend,” seojoon smiles and lets luhan enter their house. “his name is luhan. he has nowhere to stay so i brought him here with me.”

the boy looks at him again and beams, “hi, luhan. i’m baekhyun.”

 

///

 

“baekhyun?”

“yeah?” baekhyun yells from the bathroom.

luhan puts his paintbrush down, deciding to just finish this painting later when he comes back. “i’ll be leaving now. see you later!”

“okay, take care!”

once luhan leaves and baekhyun finishes his shower, his phone rings.

“hey, sweetie,” baekhyun greets before tapping the speaker button so he can change while talking with chanyeol. “do you want to come over? luhan went out.”

“at 1am?”

baekhyun chuckles at the thought of chanyeol’s confused face, “do _you_ want to come over?” he repeats.

he hears chanyeol sigh, “can’t. the team just got a new lead so we’re very busy right now. sorry, baek.”

baekhyun lies on the couch, “no, sweetie, it’s totally fine but,” his voice got higher, “did you just say you got a new lead?”

chanyeol laughs, “yeah, babe. the last victim got something etched on his right arm. we couldn’t figure it out at first because it was surrounded by blood but when we cleaned it we found out it actually said the word ‘rosebud’. we’re still trying to know what it means, though.”

_rosebud?_

baekhyun’s gaze instantly falls into luhan’s unfinished painting.

which, coincidentally, is a rosebud.

baekhyun’s stare stays on the painting and chanyeol wonders why the other line suddenly becomes quiet.

 

//

 

“louder,” sehun says, his voice low and rough. “our audience can’t hear you.”

luhan whines in frustration, “oh sehun, i swear to god if you don’t put that in right now i’ll—fuck!”

luhan screams when sehun enters without warning. “you’ll what?” sehun smirks triumphantly, suddenly feeling proud that the one who can make luhan scream like this is him and only him. he looks at the man they kidnapped that night who is currently has his hand inside his pants. “only i can make him scream like this,” he tells him with a smile on his face, as if they’re close friends.

luhan closes his eyes. _damn,_ he feels like his soul is going to fly out of his body anytime.

sehun faces luhan, taking in how beautiful his boyfriend looks right now. _a fucking angel._ “you’ll what?” sehun says again in between his thrusts. he pushes luhan’s hair back out of his forehead and plants a kiss there.

luhan wants to answer, he really does, but all comes out of his mouth are just sighs and moans of pleasure.

sehun thinks there’s no point at slowing things down anymore and decides to speed his pace up—just enough for luhan’s eye to roll and lose his senses.

this is how luhan likes it. he likes to be fucked until he doesn’t feel anything anymore except sehun. he likes to be fucked until he can’t breathe anymore, until he floats, and until he cries because of his overflowing love for his man.

just as before luhan reaches his climax, sehun halts—much to luhan and their audience’s dismay. “ride me first, baby.”

sehun’s wish is luhan’s command.

he starts slow, bouncing up and down; his palms are placed on sehun’s hard chest while the latter has his hands on luhan’s waist.

after few encouraging words from sehun, luhan picks up his pace, going faster and faster while sehun meets him halfway; both of them creating a fucking beautiful show for the audience watching them.

luhan is a mess now. his tempo gets more unstable and faster every second, sending sehun to the edge. he pulls luhan’s neck and connects their lips, sighing at the addicting taste he’ll never get enough of. luhan continues on riding sehun, tears streaming down his face as he feels his climax getting nearer.

with a final roll of hips, luhan comes while kissing the love of his life. sehun follows after, filling the empty void inside luhan that only he can satisfy.

after they calm down from their session, luhan hears the man moan, the hand inside his pants moving faster than ever. luhan smirks, a silly idea suddenly pops up inside him.

just as before the man comes, luhan grabs butch beside sehun’s pillow and shoots him in the head. thrice.

sehun sits straight, “what the fuck, lu? why did you shoot him?”

“just because,” luhan answers. not everything needs a reason, right?

“luhan, i don’t kill people, you know that,” sehun reminds him. he’s trying not to be mad, luhan can tell.

“you didn’t kill him, sehun,” luhan says, “i did.”

sehun grits his teeth, “you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

“we both are!”

“don’t shout at me!” sehun covers his ears.

as if he didn’t hear anything, luhan stands up, he grabs butch and shoots the dead man again, “we’re both crazy!” he shoots him again and again while screaming his lungs out. he shoots him in the arm, in the heart, in the shoulder, everywhere.

“please stop.”

it’s the first time luhan sees sehun cry.

“oh my god,” he drops the gun and envelopes sehun in a hug, “oh my god, sehun, i’m so sorry.”

sehun continues sobbing, his palms still covering his ears. luhan kisses his tears away, “i’m sorry. i don’t know what got into me.”

he kisses his forehead and tightens his hug, “i’m sorry. i love you, i love you.”

 

///

 

“i love you, lu,” baekhyun says out the blue, making luhan turn at him with a confused face. baekhyun looks like he’s going to cry anytime which is weird because baekhyun always enjoyed setting up christmas decorations. “is there something wrong?”

baekhyun shakes his head and smiles, which obviously is so fake, by the way, “nothing.”

“you sure?”

baekhyun nods and mentally thanks his friend for dropping the topic quickly. he sighs and stares at the santa claus ornament he’s holding. he really, really wants to ask luhan about it but it’s so hard! he doesn’t even know how to start and there’s no way it’s luhan. he looks at his friend again who’s currently smiling at his reflection on the christmas balls.

there’s really no way it’s luhan.

baekhyun shakes his head, hoping those thoughts would go away and proceeds to hug his friend. luhan, again, has a confused expression on his face but still hugs him back.

“i trust you,” baekhyun mumbles.

“baek, you’re creeping me out. did something happen?”

baekhyun just tightens his embrace, “don’t mind me. just really getting sentimental because christmas is tomorrow.”

luhan sighs and smiles, “you miss your parents, don’t you?”

baekhyun breaks the hug and gives luhan a sad smile, “i do. christmas was always fun because of them.” luhan agrees. he spent some of his christmases with baekhyun’s family and they were always the best. baekhyun squeezes luhan’s hands, “but i have you now so i guess christmas will still be fun.”

luhan is the one who pulls him into a hug this time, “i forgot to tell you this but i love you too, baek.”

after setting up the christmas tree, baekhyun lies on the couch and checks his phone. he has 13 missed calls and 6 messages all coming from his boyfriend.

 from: yeol <3

_we already know who the killer is. pls pick up_

 

//

 

“hello?”

luhan flinches at sehun’s voice from the other line. “where are you!? i thought you were following me?”

“i came back,” luhan admits and he hears sehun sighs. “i just wanted to have more fun. sorry, sehun-ah.”

“are you still there?” sehun asks. luhan puts the knife back inside his pocket before admiring his work of art on the corpse for tonight. “yeah.”

“wait for me,” sehun says before hanging up.

with that, luhan gets the knife again and writes as well as draws whatever comes inside his mind, using the body of the lifeless man in front of him as his canvas. he just really hates the fact that after he kills people, they become useless. they don’t deserve that. that’s why luhan came back and decided he’d make this corpse smile. he draws all the happy things—little flowers, hearts, and stars.

“what do you think?” he asks the man when he’s finally done. of course he gets no answer but luhan takes that as a positive remark.

suddenly there’s sirens.

luhan turns to where it’s coming from. he puts the knife quickly inside his pocket and stands up, getting ready to run. fortunately, someone calls his name, making him let out the heaviest sigh ever. he goes quickly to sehun before hugging the life out of him. sehun kisses the crown of his head. the sound of the sirens is getting louder and louder so sehun signals luhan it’s time to run. so they do; holding each other’s hands tight.

luhan claps after sehun closes the door behind him, “that was fun!”

“we almost got caught,” sehun tells him in case luhan has forgotten. he smiles at luhan’s frown, “but yeah, it was fun.”

luhan laughs, his eyes glinting with happiness, “we should do that more often.”

sehun sits beside luhan, placing his head on luhan’s shoulder which luhan automatically caresses, “why did you even come back? i was so worried.”

“i told you i tried to have more fun.”

“you stabbed him again, didn’t you?” sehun suspects.

luhan giggles, “not really.”

sehun scoffs, “whatever.”

luhan taps sehun’s chin slightly, “what would you do if we get caught?”

“i don’t know. but i wouldn’t really mind it,” sehun replies. he draws circles on luhan’s thigh, “i’m actually amazed we’re not caught yet. these cops are really dumb.”

luhan pinches sehun’s chin upon hearing that, “don’t say that. baekhyun’s boyfriend is a cop.”

sehun’s head jolts up at that, “what?”

“yeah.” luhan laughs, “why are you so surprised?”

“you’re not scared?”

luhan blinks at him, “i thought you wouldn’t mind getting caught?”

“i thought we were only talking about me,” sehun replies. “i don’t want you to get caught.”

luhan pecks him on the lips, “i’d rather be caught with you than do this alone, silly.” sehun responds by giving him a peck as well. luhan suddenly stands up to get something. sehun watches in silence as luhan hands him a big rectangle object.

“what’s this?”

luhan peels off the cover with a mischievous smile on his face. once the cover is completely removed, sehun’s mouth parts.

“lu, that’s,” sehun blurts out, “that’s beautiful.”

 he hands him the painting, “it’s my first _special_ painting.” sehun gets it and examines it closely. “christmas is near so consider that as an advanced christmas gift.”

sehun is too busy admiring and stroking the painting to form a reply.

“that’s a red velvet cake, by the way,” luhan adds.

sehun finally puts the painting down and kisses luhan’s cheek. “thank you, baby. i really liked it.”

“i wanted to paint a chocolate ice cream but,” he smiles apologetically, “you know, blood is red and that’s the first red thing that came into my mind.”

“fuck, chocolate,” sehun hissed, “red velvet is better.”

luhan snorts, “you know you don’t mean that.”

sehun pouts, “yeah.” luhan bursts out laughing. he knows how much sehun loves chocolate ice cream. “but this is really nice, lu. my baby’s so talented.”

luhan likes compliments so much—especially when it comes from sehun. he feels like he can conquer the world whenever sehun tells him beautiful things. he’s his fuel to keep on going. “thank you, sehun-ah. i really had fun painting that.” he beams, “i didn’t know blood was better than paint. smells nicer, too.”

sehun coos, “my baby has found a new medium.”

luhan snickers, “i’m working on a new one, by the way. i’m sure you’ll like it.”

“what is it?”

luhan smiles smugly at sehun, “not going to tell you.”

 

///

 

“tell me who,” baekhyun immediately calls chanyeol after luhan leaves for the night. he hears shuffling on the other line and he suddenly feels the anxiety run through his veins. he doesn’t like what he’s thinking right now. he doesn’t want to believe at what he feels. he doesn’t want to assume—

“it’s luhan,” chanyeol’s voice rings in baekhyun’s ears. “it’s luhan, your fucking friend.”

baekhyun wants to pretend he didn’t just hear that. that’s not true. that can’t be true. luhan isn’t capable of doing that.

“that must be a mistake,” baekhyun manages to say, staying adamant.

“baekhyun i swear you got to leave that house as soon as possible,” chanyeol’s voice is filled with worry and baekhyun is so, so confused and scared. he finds somewhere to sit and takes deep breaths as chanyeol continues to ramble from the other line. “that’s why it smells like blood there,” chanyeol stated, “everything points to him, baek. he’s the serial killer.”

“no…” is the only word that came out of his mouth.

“you got to help us get him, baek,” chanyeol says.

 

//

 

“what if i don’t want to?” sehun jokes. however, luhan takes it seriously and puts the needle down, “you don’t want to?”

“i was kidding,” sehun grins. “go ahead, baby.”

luhan breaks into a smile and starts sinking the needle into sehun’s skin, “does it hurt?”

“no, baby,” sehun replies. “you’re doing good.”

when luhan started to develop his drawing skills when he was still a kid, he thought he could be a tattoo artist someday. and if he couldn’t reach that, he’d just get a tattoo instead. he can’t believe he’s achieving both tonight.

“done!” luhan exclaims, satisfied at his work.

he looks at his own tattoo and places it beside sehun’s, “you’re my bud,” he beams, “and i’m your rose.”

sehun kisses luhan’s smile, “yeah. you are my fucking rose, baby.”

 

///

 

luhan smiles again even though his cheeks are already starting to ache. tonight is just amazing. he got to spend his christmas eve with the one he loves the most. sehun kept on asking him what he got him but luhan constantly refused to answer. in return, sehun didn’t tell him what his present is, too. even luhan’s pout didn’t work.

when they reached luhan’s house, he reminded sehun to rest. sehun nodded and told luhan to enjoy his christmas with baekhyun before leaving.

luhan opens the door to his house silently, afraid to wake baekhyun up. he peeks in and panics when he hears someone crying.

it’s baekhyun.

luhan immediately runs to baekhyun’s figure and envelopes him in a hug, “baek? what happened?”

baekhyun hugs him back, burying his face in luhan’s shoulder and cries some more.

luhan pats his back repeatedly and lets baekhyun cry his heart out.

after baekhyun calms down, he looks at luhan with glassy eyes.

“luhan, i already know.”

luhan freezes, “oh.”

baekhyun feels tears in his eyes again. _so, it’s true._

“does chanyeol know?”

“he’s the one who told me.”

luhan nods, “i see.” he retracts his arms around baekhyun and shifts backward slightly, leaving a space between them.

they sit there in silence before luhan speaks again.

“do you hate me?”

 

//

 

“baekhyun is nice,” sehun comments. “i like him.”

luhan smiles brightly, glad that sehun liked his friend, “he is! i can’t believe he followed me, though,” he chuckles. “now he keeps on teasing me about my love life.”

sehun watches as luhan continues to ramble about baekhyun. “he always forgets, though,” he frowns and quickly smiles, “but i still love him!” sehun can’t help but grin at how adorable luhan is. “he’s my best friend and only friend.”

sehun pouts, “am i not your friend?”

“you’re not,” luhan deadpans. he cups sehun’s chin when the younger frowned. “because you’re my bud, silly. my love, my world, my baby—”

“i get it. you may stop now,” sehun chuckles.

luhan gives him a proud smile and kisses his nose, “he really cares for me, too. i mean he always teases me but he always asks too if i’m ok, if i’ve eaten, and if i still sleep! like, i’m just so lucky to have him.”

sehun strokes luhan’s cheek, “you are, baby. you are.”

 

///

 

“thank you,” luhan beams. he really likes it when people compliment his babies.

“christmas gift?”

luhan shakes his head and points the wrapped painting above his table, “that’s the christmas gift. this,” he goes back to painting, “this is for new year.”

baekhyun smiles at his friend fondly, “you really love him, huh.”

“i do,” his cheeks turn red, still not used to telling other people how much he loves sehun. “when i first met him in that alley, do you know what my first thought was?”

“he’s hot?”

luhan laughs, “correct. you know what’s the second?”

“i want him to fuck me raw and hard?”

luhan chokes, “i’m going to pretend i didn’t hear that.” baekhyun laughs aloud, “okay, what’s the second?”

“i thought i’d paint his face someday.”

baekhyun sits beside luhan and places his arm around luhan’s shoulder, admiring the unfinished painting, “and now you are.”

luhan nods, his eyes twinkling with adoration, satisfaction, and love. after finishing sehun’s eyebrows, he proceeds to color his eyes—his most favorite part of sehun.

luhan finishes painting seconds after the sun sets.

“luhan, i know i’ve already said this a hundred times today but that is really beautiful.”

“he’s beautiful,” luhan replies.

he’s so excited to let sehun see this. he’s so excited for new year. and as he waits for that day, he’ll just enjoy the rest of christmas with sehun for the meantime. he’ll just let this painting sit in his room for a while.

after giving sehun’s portrait a last glance, he grabs his other painting and prepares to leave.

but before he does that, he has to give baekhyun his gift first. however, baekhyun insists he opens his gift for luhan first because he’s apparently been waiting for this moment since he bought the present.

luhan tears the wrapper and pulls out a knitted red sweater with a deer in the middle.

“do you like it?”

“are you kidding? i love it!” luhan exclaims, making baekhyun release the breath he was holding in. he pulls him into a hug. “thank you, baekhyun,” he says. and he means it. he has always been there for luhan despite everything. luhan doesn’t know how to repay baekhyun for all the things he’s done for him and show how much he loves and appreciates him. “not just for this cute sweater but for _everything_.”

baekhyun releases him from the hug, “give me my gift before i cry.” luhan giggles and gives him his present.

baekhyun bursts out laughing when he opens his gift, “seriously, lu? a notebook?”

“you always forget to buy one!” he gets the notebook from baekhyun’s grip and shows him some pages, “i put some drawings and letters inside.”

and that’s where baekhyun starts shedding tears, “what? that’s really sweet…” he wipes his tears, “thank you, luhan. for everything, too.” he looks down, “i love you.”

luhan beams, “i love you too, baek. don’t you dare forget that.”

baekhyun chuckles while crying. he opens the door for luhan, “now, go.”

“wait,” luhan says before getting the sweater and bringing it with him. “bye!”

after luhan leaves, baekhyun opens his phone and sends chanyeol a message.

 to: yeol <3

_i’m sorry._

 

///

 

luhan hugs his painting in his arms as he walks to the narrow alley. he’s so excited to meet sehun again even though they literally met hours ago.

luhan sighs after the last turn. he’s there; standing at the middle, smiling and looking more beautiful than any other artworks out there that luhan finds himself falling in love all over again.

“hi, you,” sehun greets when luhan is finally in front of him. they’re both smiling like crazy at each other. “merry christmas again. cute sweater, by the way.”

“this is baekhyun’s gift,” he grins. “merry christmas, sehun-ah,” he is about to give him his present but sehun suddenly pushes him hard, his back hitting the cold, hard floor. luhan suddenly feels an excruciating pain on his shoulder. he touches it and feels his blood flow through his fingers.

he’s shot.

now, he gets why sehun pushed him. if he didn’t he’s probably dead by now.

luhan immediately tries to find sehun and he’s still there. he looks mad, luhan thinks. he’s never seen him become this mad. he looks at the other end of the alley—where sehun is currently staring at—and gasps.

pointing a gun at sehun is a raging and furious chanyeol.

he looks at luhan who was lying on the floor, “that’s for making baekhyun break up with me.”

“what are you—”

“i made him choose between love and friendship and he fucking chose you,” chanyeol barked. “he chose you over me.”

luhan’s lost for words. baekhyun is really stupid. why would he even choose his friend over the one he loves? stupid, stupid baekhyun who would do everything for him. stupid baekhyun whom he doesn’t deserve.  

and as if he can read his mind, baekhyun appears out of nowhere and tries to grab chanyeol’s gun, “run, you guys!”

sehun immediately helps luhan to stand.

“what are you doing?” chanyeol growls, holding his gun tighter. baekhyun gives up and opts to stand in front of chanyeol. “baekhyun, what the fuck.”

luhan looks at baekhyun’s back, suddenly hesitating to leave his friend with chanyeol, “baek, are you sure?”

“yes, he won’t shoot me,” he says and he sees chanyeol grit his teeth. “go.”

when sehun and luhan finally get away, chanyeol stomps his feet and runs his hand through his hair out of frustration. “you’re unbelievable,” he tells baekhyun.

“let them love each other, chanyeol.”

 

///

 

sehun and luhan run for their lives, not knowing where to go. thank god, luhan only got shot at his shoulder because if not, sehun wouldn’t know what to do. he might fucking kill all people in seoul.

they suddenly hear sirens behind them. luhan tightens his hold on his painting and sehun as they pick up their pace.

the sirens grow louder and they have no choice but to enter the closest building in sight. one of the cops sees them and signals the others to follow them. sehun and luhan run the flight of stairs as fast as they can, afraid to look behind.

they end up at the rooftop. the wind is strong and there are a lot of clouds in the sky. luhan thinks it’s beautiful.

not long after, chanyeol’s team reaches the rooftop, too. they position themselves and aim their guns at the couple in the middle. baekhyun is there, too, his arms are cuffed and one of the cops is holding him.

all of them watch as the two stand in front of each other with bright smiles on their faces. some of the cops load their guns but sehun and luhan are too busy to care. they carry on what they’re doing.

chanyeol almost pulls the trigger when sehun puts his hand inside his pocket, afraid that he has a gun or something. however, baekhyun quickly stops him, “don’t.”

he is hesitant at first but when he sees sehun pull out a box from his pocket, he loosens his grip on his gun and signals the others to do the same.

“just watch,” baekhyun says.

sehun opens the box, revealing two silver bracelets inside. “it’s almost over but merry christmas again, baby,” sehun beams and puts the bracelet on luhan’s arm. luhan has the biggest smile on his face when he puts sehun’s on him.

baekhyun starts to tear up and chanyeol notices it. he looks at him and holds his cuffed hands. “please don’t shoot them,” he pleads and chanyeol nods before wiping his tears away.

luhan, then, gives sehun the wrapped painting. sehun’s heart swells in happiness when he sees it—the rosebud painting luhan has worked so hard for. “thank you, my rose, my baby. this is so, so beautiful. i love you.”

“i love you too, my bud,” luhan says, pouring out everything he feels in one sentence.

when their lips meet, the rain finally pours down, crying with them.

he smiles between the kiss. luhan likes the sound of rain so much.  

and suddenly, nothing scares luhan anymore.

when they part, luhan looks at baekhyun and chanyeol. he gives them a smile and mouths the words, “thank you.” sehun is smiling at them, too. baekhyun breaks down, muttering how much he loves luhan and that he will never forget him.

sehun and luhan turn to look at each other, then. they nod before intertwining their hands, their bracelets brushing with each other and tattoos facing each other as they walk to the edge of the building.

_luhan has always wanted to fly._

_and now here he is, flying with the man he loves the most._

**fin.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: yay i had fun writing this pls tell me ur thoughts ;u; that was also unbetaed so pls don’t kill me if i had some mistakes or overlooked some parts :( and i hope it wasn’t too confusing :( anyway, thanks for reading, you ♡ thank you, as well, mods for being patient with me :( ♡


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